Rolls Royce in Manhattan

   A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that’s parked on the street in front of the bank.
   Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
   Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says:
   “We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we’re a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
 “Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?

Mississippi

   A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation.
   The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one lasta time.”
   ”You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our s.x lives in public!” “Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talking abouta s.xa? Imma justa tellun my frienda how to spella “Mississippi”!